Bits and Pieces

Part Two

2012-01-15T14:51:00.000-08:00

Safe at home, she stepped out of her oil streaked jeans. Running hot water in the bath tub, she began to unbutton her shirt. She continued to strip as Steam filled the room. Stepping one sore leg at a time into the warmth of the bath she the bubbles surround her. Closing the tap, she slid back slowly, savouring the relaxing sensation that washed over her. She had not followed the man- gut feelings had told her she was not ready to follow a man over a far-fetched clue.

Cosing her eyes, she wondered where her cousin Lucky was? The last she had spoken to her was several weeks ago over the phone to catch up on career goss- the usual stuff which boss had promoted which girl, who was not talking to who... it was amusing to see how rarely the nature of gossip changed. We had planned a road trip this weekend, a spa package for the both of us. We could have been soaking in lavender scented bubble baths with rose petals and complimentary wine... instead here I was enveloped by neutral soap smells and she was no where. No where I knew.

The doorbell rang, it was unusual. If it was Sam, he had the keys. There would have been no need for her to step out into the cold. It rang again- getting out of the bath she dried herself. She swung the bath robe around her which she secured at her waist before padding down the staircase just as it rang again.

Opening the door revealed Sam, and two other men dressed in Black suits. Sam was red in the face, and his pale blue shirt was ruffled and untucked. He wasn't the type to get worked up, nor get in a fight over something. He seemed bare, his watch and ring missing - no doubt his phone, wallet and keys. The men that stood slightly behind him on either side were taller and well built. They were tan, and looked like they were serious, and Sam's next words made me sure of it.

"Let us come in and I will explain everything," his voice heavy with uncertainty of how I was reacting, I stepped aside as he regained his composure and stepped in. The men followed. The living room seemed crowded with the two unknown men taking up most of the couch space. I had changed into a fresh pair of slacks and jumper. I handed Sam a cup of hot green tea and waited for him to speak. His job often involved authorities, this wasn't that unusual. He was an undercover cop, he was in trouble, Lucky would have to wait -for now.

My top Sydney Restaurant List !

2012-01-08T22:17:00.001-08:00

Sydney is an amazing place to live and grow up, and one of the things I miss the most is going out to restaurants and catching up with friends. Now when I look back, I remember the few good restaurant/food eating experiences I will never forget and would def want to do again some day!! So here is my top 10 List (I had to add another one just because it had to be mentioned!):

10. Mother's crepe

The sweet crepes that are filled with cream & ice cream & strawberries & Brownies! Delicious all round!

10. Kauvery
Indian fine dining, and most often they deliver yummy Indian food! Naan and Malai kofta's are my favorite dish!

9. Mars Hill Cafe

A small cafe, that has the best atmosphere and a bucket size for hot chocolate! Love this place, and the wall decorations of the toilet (brilliant).

8. Mother Chu's

This was an interesting restaurant, being a vegetarian reading a vegetarian menu that involved mock ducks resulted in a wonderful evening dinner with friends! Not only was the food satisfying (large portions) but also the service was terrific!

7. Wagaya

I love love love Japanese food! And the first thing i ordered every time i went to this place was veg spring rolls and they never had them in stock... and i mean never (i still haven't tasted spring rolls at Wagaya!) but their Tempura Don always satisfied me! Always!

6. Max Brenner

Chocolate is my weakness, and this was the very first chocolate cafe I was introduced to. And I was hooked from the beginning, towards the end I learnt and experienced other dessert places and slowly stopped going here- BUT this is the place to come for Belgian waffles with strawberries and melted chocolate! THE BEST pick-me-up ever!

5. San Churros

The Chocolate Churro Fondue here is the best! caramel popcorn, marshmellows, churros, nuts and of course the CHOCOLATE!! YUM!

4. Pizza Down Under

Best pizza in Sydney! HUGE pizza with generous amount of toppings made to perfection! This became my alternative to dominos and pizza hut!

3. Pancakes on the rocks

Late night pancake cravings- no worries! This place was open til late and offered the best dish for anyone with a sweet tooth!! Always ordered their Devils Delight! Chocolate pancakes, chocolate syrup, ice cream and strawberries! What not to love?

2. Fujiya

Did I mention I love jap food? This place has the best atmosphere and the best service and yummy food! Love their eggplant and tempura udon! LOVE!

1. Nut'n'fancy

This became my favorite place to eat and i brought all my friends here! Dessert and actual food! They have so many dishes that I like including the cookie sandwich, nachos devils chocolate etc!! And I recommend it to everyone who loves desserts!

A New Year to Rekindle what was...

2012-01-06T21:30:00.000-08:00

I am old.

Or so I have been told continuously as I reviewed my abandoned blog (and ever since I graduated really...).

So what if there is tumblr? and twitter? and tigers these days... its a jungle out there right? Well I'm not old - I do understand Facebook, now that has to account for something. So not to surprise my readers (if there are any of you) this is my first post in ages.... my reason for not posting in ages is the same as the previous few times- laziness. Which I must admit my family complains regularly about. I have realized the trend with my posting has a direct correlation with exam periods.. now I don't exactly know why- but i guess it would relate to the ease of using the bloggo-sphere as an escape world from all the timed torture sessions that occur at the end of semester. But all that has changed, because yes I am older and wiser! ok maybe not wiser but definitely older? I have graduated, at last. And my days of giving exam advice has some what ended. My new hobby is trying to find hobbies to immerse myself into. So far I have teaching (though I've been doing this for a long time now...), literature (rediscovered hobby), cooking (desserts mainly), eating (no restrictions here) and in general just living. Student no more, unemployed youth now but soon to be employed someone! And although I've journeyed along this path for the past 6 months.. I shall fill you in and keep you posted. And also add some other bits and pieces along the way.

Part One

2009-07-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

With a tiger's stealth she stalked her target. The target, a dark haired male in his mid twenties, this was all she could observe with the lack of lighting in this low ceiling building.

It had been two weeks since her cousin went missing, the authorities were dismissive over the incident saying she was probably another run-away from home - but they didn't know her. I did. I had known her since she lost her first tooth back when we were just kids. She would never run away from home, she wouldn't even leave without informing at least one of us. Her sudden disappearance was out of character for her.

Once I was informed of her disappearance, I had begun a self motivated search for her, which had landed me in this abandoned building in Clyde, a fair distance from the city.
The man stopped moving and turned his head, as if he had sensed someone following him - me. Had he seen me? Assuring himself it was a phantom feeling he continued climbing the stairs before him. I waited silently,wrapped in dust. The smell of petrol was faint but there. Still hidden amongst the empty metal shelves, which had probably been home to oil cans and mechanical tools, I had to decide what to do next. Do I follow this man? or should i return home with what little evidence I had...

Time to wash your dog..

2009-06-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

Things that four year olds get up to...

Live the Moment, forget the rest...

2009-06-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

The wind whispered softly, it's thoughts heavy with worldly wisdom. Nearby, the squirells prance playfully, swishing their fashionable tails. The birds sit soundlessly on empty branches, preening. Crickets buzz with excitment - darkness was falling on this valley. The sun dissapearing behind a dark veil adorned with a soft violet lace. The moon casting silhouettes skillfully.

Graceful birds gliding high through the chilly air, the city buildings down below and a lonely tree - it's branches bare - swaying silently to the gentle rhythm of the world.

This serene world. A place of beauty, of passion, wonder, love, bliss... and hope. Away from city oblivion, an enchanted place where one can sit and live in the moment, relax and be one with themselves. To be able to discover their true nature, their primordial passion and their developing destiny.

I do not play God, I sit pondering about the possibilities.. what if?

Although relaxed, the mind has succumbed to it's endless thoughts, endless worries, endless questions... But through closed eyes, I wonder what the future will hold... a cold feeling supresses the chambers of my human heart, the source untraceable, the affect... Am I scared?

A Dog on a high...

2009-06-09T02:15:00.001-07:00

source: http://www.hot-screensaver.com/2007/05/21/very-cute-puppies/

Long Weekend Celebrations

2009-06-07T04:55:00.000-07:00

Its almost the end of the June long weekend, the one that comes every year reminding us students in uni, that no we should not celebrate the Queens birthday with cakes, banners and crown like pinatas.. but instead we should celebrate her year-stone with our textbooks and all our semester notes (if any). Mid year, and exams already upon us... where did all the time go? Of course none of us planned a cramming period before exams, I recall most of us vowing "we shall be ready next time, attend all the lectures and take notes.." - nope we failed ourselves again. Our only hope is easy exams, a poorly timed fire-drill and to take the bi-annual vow of "next time, we will be ready."

I had a look at one of my previous posts from last year, in which i gave a couple of handy tips to prepare for exams... wow, no wonder I didn't do so well! Not to worry, there are no more stocks of agrum in my cupboard let alone a cadbury bar. All i remmeber stocking up on is sleep and probably museli bars (a proactive method of being healthy, ill let you know if it works.. though I have my doubts.)!

Even worse, I have almost completely destroyed my laptop screen... *wails*.. Amazingly study has become harder without the distractions. So without the internet at my fingertips, its easier to slip into a dream-land whilst reading about T-helper lymphocytes and the complement cascade. Many of the worlds I have, as a result of failed studying, escaped into include the happy days with me and my forever cherished laptop! (and so goes the endless cycle of frustration and failed study attempts).

This semester there are only four exams... as usual. Maths (something I'm waiting to escape from), Immunology (T-helper lymphocytes and the complement cascade are but the tip of the iceburg, I can't wait to go into details of antibody secretion...), Physiology (Why does the body have to be so complicated... If only everything were as simple as plain english!) and of course, we cannot forget beloved MATLAB (hate this with a passionate fury)! Though studying for matlab will be difficult without the software which is on my laptop... I have no excuses for the other three... though I would like to mention I still have a week before I should really panic and cram! So it should be possible to pass these exams if any...

Without thinking the glass as half empty, I would like to move on to say Good Luck to those who also have exams and have just wasted precious 5 minutes of your study time reading my junk... and to those who don't have exams, feel happy your not rubbing your nose against newly opened textbooks from the beginning of semester!

Funny cat, plays with boxes.

2009-05-30T04:05:00.001-07:00

source: www.funnyjunk.com

The Embracing Darkness

2009-05-30T00:29:00.000-07:00

A drop of tear,
in fear…
Suffocating, in this dark abyss of life.
Darkness will embrace you.

The gyre keeps turning,
constantly.
Your grip on reality falters.
Question what is real?
Yet the Darkness embraces you.

Blinded by hope,
wait for light.
Yes, it would be a heavenly sight.
Heaven, Hell?
Death- a gateway to both,
As Darkness embraces you.

Life as Hell,
Hell as after life.
Heaven a goal,
Death a fear.
Thou shall live,
When Darkness embraces you.

The fires of Hell,
nor the clouds of heaven
can compare to the
cold touch
of
Death.
Let darkness embrace you.

The Tenth Hour

2009-05-25T05:42:00.000-07:00

The trees sway gently to a backdrop of dark clouds. Enclosed within a small room, the cold still ravaged bare skin.

I rise, and slip into something warm - the blue and yellow cardigan should do. Stripes are usually lucky, and the blue might match my eyes. There was no mirror to check this statement, it did not matter. Instead her eyes drifted around the room, groping the white walls for some sane reason to remain awake. None.

The clock on the wall suggests the ninth hour of today would complete in a matter of seconds. Yet the sun was still in bed under heavy blankets of clouds. It had been like this for several days now. Almost an omen… if such a concept should exist. Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding; thus begins the tenth hour.

The sounds of the wall clock resonated around the room. Pulsating atoms allowed the sound to transfer the clock’s words to her unsuspecting ears. She bit her lower lip in surprise or anxiety? A bit of both. Fixing her eyes on the carpet beneath her, she ruminated through the events of the past day. It had been a change from her usual routine: breakfast, work, family and friends.

The twenty-four hours she had just lived thinking herself to be a carefree woman in the city of Sydney. Pretending that she was a new person. But she was the same…

She had never been that carefree woman of Sydney. No. She had always been Ash, the same blue eyed Ash that her family knew, her friends knew, her colleagues knew… Yet Ash herself did not know who she was. Confusion battling against her, she shook her head slightly. She was Ash, not the Ash everyone thought she was nor the carefree woman of Sydney. She had blue eyes yes, but her eyes meant nothing without the experiences it had seen. And she had seen a lot.

Yes she was Ash. A new Ash. She had been born again in the tenth hour. Born with a new purpose. Her destiny calls… will she take the bait?

The Glass Violin

2009-05-25T05:34:00.000-07:00

I would love to have one of these!

Interesting and cute video:

2009-05-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

source: www.funnyjunk.com

The pumpkin bus

2009-05-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

Halloween came early in Sydney...

Resurrection

2009-05-13T07:07:00.000-07:00

About time, you may say, that this blog was reopened to the public. Of course technical issues had to be resolved as well as time management and closely monitored sanity checks.

Life is about the same, as the last blog post. Second year uni, Overweight and The Social Outcast.

Though I have a special list of topics just waiting to be discussed so don't stray too far from this web page...

Recall: Malicious Intent

2008-09-05T18:34:00.000-07:00

One of the worst experiences in my life has been with the media. Reporters and I just don’t get along. They have the power to manipulate what little evidence they have and use it to blow up someone’s life. I love Ben, and it is for him I took up that case in the first place. I need the extra money, so I can afford to battle against my ex-husband for the custody of my three year old son. It must have been a month ago when this mess started. Dan Brody put me up in court for case. I didn’t realise at the time how much stress it had put me under, but I remember kicking back with Kate at lunch later on. We were discussing work. Kate went on about her overload and how all the staff is underpaid, but I knew she had other things on her mind. Finishing off our food she finally spoke her mind. There was a coronial inquest on a suicide. Victim was Clare Matthews, she was found in the Gap all dolled up and six weeks pregnant. She was about to take her final vows so it was very unusual. She also went missing for a couple of weeks before her death; this was uncharacteristic for her. I remembered from my convent days that to a catholic, suicide were a mortal sin. A mortal sin couldn’t be forgiven by god without repentance. I was taught that suicide and murder were a mortal sin. That meant that the sinner is condemned to hell. So I knew there was something unusual about this case. If this woman was religious and commited suicide while she was six weeks pregnant, she murdered that foetus along with herself. So mental illness or at least an irrational frame of mind became more probable. Well when I visited Peter Latham at the state forensic institute before one of my tutorial lectures, we checked out the histology reports. It was interesting to find them overwhelmed with work as well. After looking at the slides we established abnormal lung tissue. There were pale streaky patches with hour-glassed shaped fibers that were similar to asbestos but structurally different. I reported this to Kate over the phone, the next morning, before entering the office downstairs. It was convenient having the office downstairs, it meant less hassle – get up and ready to work. It suited my hours and my life. Ever since I lost custody of Ben my life revolved around my work, I needed the money. I had an appointment at ten that same morning with Mr. Deab. He wanted the true nature of his sister’s death revealed. Initially I refused his offer. Anoubs’s attitude made me uncomfortable, but his request was straightforward. He was willing to pay money, and money was what I needed. I didn’t need to like him and I felt sorry for his mother worried about what happened to her daughter so I agreed. After he left, I had the impression he hadn’t told me everything and right I was.

I wanted to get this case over and done with really quickly, so I went and spoke to senior scene of the crime officer, and old friend John Ziegler. He remembered most of the details calling it a routine OD but had a mystery caller that set off a bomb at the station but seemed to be a hoax. Fatima was found in the public toilets, slightly slouched forwards in a cubicle, doors wide open. She had all the gear- syringe, water ampoule, spoon and lighter. She even used a tampon as a filter. However she was clean and smelt like lavender, wearing pressed jeans and a see-through top. A hundred dollars were stuffed in her bra, and her nails and face were painted. She was also evidently abused previously. Later in the week I checked in with Brody. He had the pathology report, a quick scan indicated acute narcotism due to the administration of opiate either morphine or codeine. The traces in her bile indicated that she wasn’t a regular. Brody then advised me to check out the GP she worked with – Dr Jennifer Wallace. It was about this time when I met Vaughan Hunter. I had no idea it would have been him playing the game. I was washed over by his persuasive and manipulative ways. I went and saw Dr Jennifer but nothing new came up, except that Fatima was heavily abused by her father. To lead further with fatima I went and talked to Jeff Sales at the mortuary, Western Sydney centre for forensic medicine. We were going through slides, but I was accused of interfering with closed cases by Alf Carney. And hour later, Jeff called me up and said that he did find something unusual in the lungs. Hour-glassed shaped fibers. I got home and checked out the photos he had attached. They matched Clare’s. That weekend I went to the expert-witness conference since Martin robbed me of a weekend with Ben. I spent time with Vaughan. He gave me all the clues I needed but I swallowed them for their intellectual worth.

The next day, set off a collision of past emotions. Dad told me that people in Melbourne re opened Miriam’s case. I had been the cause of her disappearance and I knew the entire family knew. Mother always loved her more, she blamed me for it. Putting aside my past and went to talk to Kate. She had a new case on her hands involving Debbie Finch. Her post mortem matched both Clare’s and Fatima’s. Debbie Finch was found with a single shot to her head, in her home with her crippled father who was also shot dead. The unusual bit was they both were covered in jam. Debbie had no pubic hair and had a strain of herpes simplex two virus similar to Fatima. She also had lung fibers matching those found in Clare’s and Fatima’s.

This new evidence that linked the cases was discussed the next day with all officers involved. They didn’t believe and to be honest they weren’t even interested. I was scoffed at when I pointed out the similarity between the victims’ pubic regions. However they wouldn’t have any of it. The next day, after tutorial Zara led me to another victim with similar fibers. Her name was Alison Blakehurst. After interviewing her husband I found she also went missing a couple of weeks before her death and she had herpes. These made a firm link between the cases, but still frustrating. It was a puzzle where A was the same and B and A was also similar to C, so therefore B was equal to C, but there wasn’t a firm link. I went and talked to Vaughan later about cults. I came to think that these women had joined the same cult. A far fetched idea but plausible.

Before I took Ben out to the agricultural show, Kate came around and informed me that they did a DNA tests on the sperm in Debbie’s throat. It wasn’t her fathers, making it obvious that someone else was there. Then Hunter arrived with information on cults, he then joined Ben and I on our trip. To think that I let Ben near him makes me sick, but he was very cunning. AT the hospital, I met Briony. She was a surviving victim that was similar to all the other suicides. I talked to her and found out she admired her killer. It made no sense at the time. She later commited suicide, because Kate double crossed me and got to her breaking my code of confidentiality and pushed her too hard.

Then things got bad to worse. The media flared up again, pouring into my past and attacking my tragic childhood. I still remember the headlines; Murder most foul, expert in private and practice. Kicking back into work I found that Lucinda Taits had similar fibers on her lungs, leading me to the knowledge of Sound studios. Confirming with my good friend Mike, I found that stereo testing studios had halls padded with pseudo asbestos type material, shaped much like those found in the victims. It was then when Kate went missing, and hunter agreed to go visit a nearby test centre. What happened next became hazy. I got into a car accident and hunter helped me into his house. I then found out he had Carcinoma and he was dying painfully. In his room I pieced together several clues and recognised him as the obsessed killer. What happened next was a fight for my life. But I had played into his hands. He wanted me to shoot, and I did. I fell for his trick with the voice recording of Ben. I found Kate in the back just as the police arrived. I the n retreated home. Martin called up and asked if we could all have dinner together. I was overjoyed. I may not have enough money yet to claim Ben. But every moment spent with him was precious. Life was precious, or that’s what Vaughan had taught me.

Bad talk...

2008-08-20T00:50:00.000-07:00

As the Fourth week of semester two trudges along at an alarming pace, I stopped to ponder on what it was that i had actually done in the past few weeks - Absolutely nothing.

With midsems creeping up on me, there has been no solid work being done at home. The reason is... i dunno! Instead of academic achievements being pocketed, i have mastered the art of playing pool (beginners luck) and managing to keep myself from acting on impulse (running is still not allowed... though swimming has become very tempting!).

One thing i have noticed is wise graffiti, yes city rail does not provide entertainment but the graffiti on city rail premises do. One such phrase that got my attention was "Get lost" ... no joke but sometimes i feel its better to be lost ... perfect excuse for attending a maths lecture half an hour late. But if not that one, there are many more and its surprising to see educated vandalism! Professors have free time too?

Another thing on my mind is swearing... Why? If something is so bad why make it worse with a bad word...or even if something is really good.... why add the word and make it seem indifferent? I have heard so many people swear casually... its actually quite funny... One example was a guy on the phone in the seat in front of me, he started talking and i swear (lol) he just strung all the bad words i know (possibly more in one sentence but added a "so why did you call" in the end... i mean like what the? swearing is not an accessory... its scary and ridiculous... but guess the world is just like that.

However, as all good procrastination comes to an end... so does mine... possibly even yours..

Cultured Thinking: More than just a simple rule - way of life

2008-08-16T16:01:00.000-07:00

Last month was last month, and even I can't change that... BUT as The third week of university semester two rolls by... I regained the motivation to blog! Not that anyone reads it anymore...

Well to begin things, the new semester has arrived with many differences... more new people (cool people)and more new work... In what seems to be a packed week of maths, biology and engineering, one can only hope their sanity does not dissipate! However the occasional dissection and Riemann's sum does make me feel more educated and maturer? (if that were possible).

One a different note, lots of thinking has been happening and i decided to just make your brains work by reading my thoughts and opinions... who knows you may hate me after this or randomly agree... there is only one way to find out... READ:

As Indian youngsters growing up in a Western world, accommodating the best of two cultures, we hardly stop to figure out the meaning of culture and what our values are. Growing up in an atmosphere with many opinions, many ideals, many cultures, we often make detours on our own path of culture and values.

What is culture? Is it something we say to label monuments and eras? Or perhaps a nice name for a niche of people practicing similar customs and beliefs? Culture is a contextual term, and in this case it sort of means the tradition, values and beliefs followed and passed on by a set group of people. That being said the next question is, whether culture is important? If it is not important why keep it? why preserve it? why pass it on? Are we in a position to discredit our culture without experiencing it and living it ourselves? (Is it possible for one to say they dislike cherries without tasting one first?)

Similarly people complain it is boring. Can you say the new TV show is boring unless you've seen the entire thing? maybe not the first episode nor the second, but an umpteenth episode might just change your view of things? isn't it likely? Do you think its boring?

Everything in this world follows a set of rules or functions within a given set of restrictions (Except those who commit crimes and end up in a more restricted place). Our set of restrictions and rules are based on moral and cultural values and principles. What are these values? How do we know what these values are? How do we know whether these values are right or wrong? Do we need guidance? and where do we get ours from? Christians have their bible, Muslims the Karan, Jews the Tanakh... Hindus the Vedas - Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads and Brahma Sutras.

Culture through guidance:
On long car rides, father drones on in his familiar lecture like voice; "We follow the Vedas. For everything and anything our values and principles are set by the Vedas. When in doubt, you seek guidance from:
1. Your elders - Parents, Grand Parents, etc (Who carry values and traditions from generations before you).
2. Spiritual Teachers (those who have taken on ocher robes and travel the spiritual path)
3. The Vedas
4. Your own self (mind / intellect - colored by likes and dislikes & desires)"

Notice how tradition takes the first place. If it has been surviving for this long and has kept us going for this long, then it must be doing something right. Do you agree?
Advice, insight and knowledge given by those on the spiritual path will never pull us down. Our life is in their best interest, is it not?
The Vedas, many find hard to interpret but exist to show the source of wisdom, culture, values, tradition, principles. It has been followed for more years than you have been alive. If it has existed for this long, there must be something in it which is useful. Dont You Think So??

Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

2008-07-19T19:13:00.001-07:00

The following is an e-mail received:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A

Sorry!... Well not really!

2008-07-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

It has been ages, since I have last posted and can only give one reas0n... laziness! With the end of exams and start of holidays... one could do nothing but park the brain and enjoy the fattening effects of TV, PS2 and Computer. The junk food doesn't help either.

Well hopefully I shall blog soon to keep you all entertained!

And it ends...

2008-06-24T05:38:00.000-07:00

The start of the holidays, does not relieve the fact results will appear in a few weeks. Must I never be free of worry?

Honest procrastination...

2008-06-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

www.youtube.com the place where time flies...

The beginning...

2008-06-16T02:19:00.000-07:00

well what can i say, a dark cloud looms over this land... heavy with ... well whatever clouds are heavy with!...

To my amazement, the train carriage i was on... was quiet and teeming with tension as people had all sorts of books and notes open ... studying!! yes my readers, people were studying.... so i pulled out my notes and pretend to study as well....

The next thing i realised was 90% of the carriage were of Indian origin... how did i know... the familiarities of hindi dialogue...

moving on to more depressing news..... i have officially failed... i mean FAILED... the maths exam today.... oh god.

and the day continues with much pain.... chemistry.. need i say more?

And It Begins...

2008-06-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

With the start of Stuvac, textbooks and notes were recovered from beneath the bed and stored in places of close reach (i.e next to the bed). However, the computer remains to have the highest priority as it continues to play songs while resting on top of the bed.

With all intentions to study; Monday followed through to Thursday with as much study completed during semester ... which is pretty much nothing. Everyone seems to think we are ALL in the same boat, with no motivation or lack of it.. BUT my boat seems to be rapidly sinking with no hope of recovering... well yet.

Monday is the first exam with Identity Matrices, 3-dimensional vectors and Kronecker's Delta appearing as Guests of Honour. (Gosh at least I know what I am required to know... now its a matter of knowing it! *sigh*)

With just over 48 hours before pens attack UMQ's (unidentified Mathematical Questions) across campus, I sip my tea (mango and strawberry.. YUM!) and continue to procrastinate by blogging. With almost a complete day of study over, my brain is whizzing and whirring with various proofs, symbols and concepts. Feels almost HSC... just without the stress (for now)!

As each moment passes, friends & peers across Sydney are keeping themselves awake with pots of coffee, tea and REDBULL to allow them to furiously cram throughout the night... Some finishing a day of exams are worn out and sound asleep. But for most of us, the days have lengthened to allow room for extreme information absorption. Unfair how osmosis doesn't work in this case.

None the less, i cherish these moments of mathematics, because come Saturday & Sunday Chemistry will be added to the mix... (which will cause semi-suicidal tendencies in the author of this blog *cough*).

Well in any case, exam countdown begins tomorrow with maximum energy spent on cramming 13 weeks of lectures and tutes... May God help us all!

No Need To Panic...

2008-06-06T02:38:00.000-07:00

And so the last day of lectures and learning ends for Semester one of 2008...

The long weekend signals the start of long and painful days of revision (or learning... depending on skipped lectures!) As the books come out of hiding, the layer of dust is finally disturbed in some way. Printers across Sydney will choke out their remaining ink, spitting out furiously the last few weeks of lecture notes or perhaps practice questions from ancient times. In hope of studying, fingers will be busy discussing exam timetables or dreaming of July over msn.

Which reminds me... SATURDAY EXAMS!!!! Who ever heard of exams on Saturdays? The new concept is being furiously booed at by us first years! My exam timetable has a Saturday exam... MATHS exam...

However things to look forward to, include a month of no study, celebrating eighteen years of existence and not to mention the overload on cake!

Well we better get busy studying, as the lecturers mentioned... "Questions will be placed to either crucify you or let u pass" probably the first of the two .To everyone undergoing the same pain of exam time, I wish you all luck! and may God feel pity on you and let you pass this time round.

Tips&Advice

2008-05-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

Just when you know life is traveling at a nice pace, with a gentle rhythm to it... your faced with another problem, another dillema, another choice, another fork in the road, another dip in the roller coaster of life!

As Exam time creeps upon us innocent and little first years, most of us are feeling more screwed than usual... some (i.e. me) are feeling completely screwed! GAAHHHH!!! (I should get up and go study at this point, but blogging provides me with yet another excuse to avoid the fat calculus book on my table). So, in order to help us first years out with the first exam period of univ, I'm going to compile a Tips&Advice list!

Tips&Advice

TIPS AND ADVICE TO GET YOU THROUGH UNI EXAMS ALIVE!

1. With all the freaking out, thinking of excuses and the general "I'm Screwed" feeling, your body is overworking, those sugar and H2O reserves need replenishing! HAVE NO FEAR... AGRUM is here! Yes folks, my first piece of advice to you is walk yourself down to the local stores downtown and use your loose change to buy that cold glass bottle of Schweppes Agrum! It does wonders in moments of extreme panic, depression and.... well generally it does wonders! Its worth it, it cools you down, it allows you to go on a high, makes you feel worth the glass bottle, it makes you look stylish.... oh and the best excuse to remove yourself from the room and go for a nice looong walk (away from the fat calculus book). [NOTE: ribena is always an option!!!]

2. Now we all know, you can't study on an empty stomach! how many of you much on a carrot stick or cheezel as you work out the 4th degree Taylor polynomial for log5xe^(x cubed) !!! ... or perhaps a nice toasted sandwich while working out the equilibrium constant for boring reactions... if chemistry is not you then perhaps munching on a pastry trying to figure out why your balance sheets are not balancing... or why the commonwealth hasn't passed the same sex marriage bill yet..... WELL whatever it is, your brain will definite work faster if avoid those carrots and cheap junk.... instead aim for CADBURY DAIRYMILK!!! Thats right! Chocolate is what your brain needs when working overtime on those tedious sentences! yes the one you've read for the fiftieth time already!

3. ATTEND THOSE LECTURES! We can all excuse the fact that many lectures have been skipped.... *cough* whats in the past REMAINS in the past! however as exams come close, attending lectures is a great tip to understand what might appear in those ferocious photocopied papers in mid june! Thats right, your lectures are humans, they can spill secrets without meaning too (unlike your friends, you wont be bitching about your leaking lecturer...but you never know, it may just pass the time!)... so what better than to field in the back benches of your lectures the week or two weeks before your exams! Besides its not like your ACTUALLY going to study at home anyway!

4. Stock up on colour!!! Research has shown that different colours effect the way you learn... so go shopping!! Fill that trolley with highlighters, colour pencils, Textas, neon tubing, coloured reflex A4 paper..... aaand post it notes!!!! YESS!! colours accross the visible spectrum... see we are learning already!! use the colours u like to highlight what u dont know! that way, you will tend to stare at those sentences more!!! FOOL PROOF PLAN!

5. PAST EXAM PAPERS! now we can always ALWAYS learn from history! so go back to 2007 through to the stone age and dig out past papers... those questions are worth a million when you've practiced them!!! c'mon, how many lecturers can be bothered making up NEW questions to fit 100 marks???

6. If all else fails... you have one option left! That is to throw your hands in the air, scream and run around in circles!

hopefully, this list will help you somehow! If not with real advice... the laughs was good enough right?!?! Back to those books we go.... (or is it the net?!) lolx!

Some Brain Sense...

2008-05-14T04:02:00.001-07:00

Who thought helping out a friend... more an aquaintance with maths would be so difficult? Well it is. In consenting to assist a friend in maths, my recent challenge in life, I have rammed my head against complaints, shallow compliments, complex numbers and matrixes.

For all people reading this, i am assuming you know the famous mathematician Pythagoras. (If you dont.. i hope you are still in primary school...) Pythagoras is the great man who helped with triagular geometric properties! Without him there is no maths! Well this is what happened... Sitting in the Engineering Library with calculus books opened and pens out... I began explaining complex numbers. It began with the imaginary i and polar form, i.e. rcis(theta)... The question was to find r, so i explained "in order to find r we can use pythagoras' theorem...." the blank look in his eyes stopped me from continuing. "you do know pythagoras right?" i questioned hesitantly... his response was "yeah that man... "... the goofy smile on his face did not help the situation either! As minutes passed, we improved from 'pythagoras the man' to 'pythagoras the man with triangles'! Amazing! Now don't laugh... maths is maths and you have to start some where... if triangles are teh only option then let the foundations remain rigid (lolx! get it? ...triangles are the most rigid of all 2 dimensional shapes.... omg engineering is getting t o me!)

However as the challenge continues into matrixes... life begins to test my knowledge of the campus as well as bus routes accross to central! Along with a friend, I began the expedition into unknown territory... the IT BUILDING!.... only we didnt find any computers! instead comfy chairs, stylish bathrooms and glass walls entertained us. From there we, hiked down to victoria park... where we crossed out onto city road in order to catch the 370 bus. However, we then found out we were not even at the correct spot... doubling back we travelled into glebe point road and waited for a bus... yes we waited for a whole 13 minutes on teh wrong side of the road!! not very smart as you can see.... we chased two 370 buses down to city road again.... and waited for half an hour... i SAY THIRTY MINUTES!!! and we finally got on the right bus! ... now who said women's navigation skills were non-existent!!... we have plenty of that!

And thus... the exiciting uni life continues.... onwards i say...

Dry Tears

2008-05-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

The clock ticked endlessly in a monotonous manner.

Seconds soon became minutes, minutes became hours…

Two black eyes stared endlessly. They were empty of emotion as they questioned the reality of the moment. A breeze crept in through an open window bringing her messy black hair to life. Her shoulders were bare. Behind her the door stood ajar. A bed stood empty, unable to tell what it had experienced. It stood naked, stripped of its pail sheets. The floor was littered with the pillows and blankets. Further along were garments left in a disarray of the previous hours of the day. Question answered - a tear slid down her cheek. I attempted to wipe the tear away, but my hand felt the coldness of the mirror in front of me.

Hanging my head, hiding from the piercing eyes I brought my hands to my belly. I examined my chocolate cream complexion. Avoiding many more unanswered questions, I turned and retreated into the room. Pain seared through my joints as I staggered on to my bed.

I lay motionless in a fetal position. Drained of energy. Drained of emotion. Giving up, I released my clutches on consciousness and slowly slowly slowly slipped away…

Live Love Life

2008-05-04T03:07:00.000-07:00

A dozen red roses to show ure love,
a peaceful sign of a single dove,
a deserted beach,
a sunset coloured like a peach.
hand in hand we walk as our love leaks,
slowly slowly the silence speaks.
a gentle touch,
not so much.
a cool breeze tugs at ure sleeve,
a flimsy hand nudges you to believe...
could this be the one?
or is all of this just for fun...
No no no, the joy the pain,
look its started to rain.
time to dance, time to prance all down memory lane.
tears fall to form crimson stains.
so now i hang my head in shame.
all the glory all the fame -
lost lost lost by one mistake.
you stand, holding me by the lake.
And do i doubt that you are fake?
please say no for goodness sake...
once twice three times then die
for nothing is worse than telling a lie.
walking onwards, sand between the toes,
just try to imagin all my foes...
one step two now three and four,
footprints follow more and more...
there is no end, no big finnale
just you and me, me and you...
and this life long tally.

A day of Laughter

2008-05-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

Indeed, life gets back into the routine of things as amma returns to sydney. No more scalded fingers from rushed cooking nor ragged hair... actually I have improved my hair manageability soo much iv continued to do it myself!!! Aren't we proud of me!! Now with no phone.. life is... simply GREAT!! well... the lack of easy use camera is getting to me with the sightings of three THREE sexy cars!!

Well wheels aside, public transport takes the real side of life... Friday was an eventful day surrounded by malfunctioning, wrong or monitored trains!

Friday began with my sprint to the station in the morning in order to catch the train... guess what i made it!! WHOOOT!!! yea.. considering i missed it the day before and as a result delayed the arrival time to my 8oclock maths lecture... however Friday.... (I swear i am not meant to get to my lectures on time since the new lecturer....) Friday the train had something wrong with it "mechanical problems" hence it kept stopping and got to the destination at 8:01am!!!

As if, late lectures weren't my only problem.... in finishing my friday course of uni. Preeti, Tharu and I returned to the station in hope of getting home.. well our usual shopping hangout spot... with an express due out in 2 minutes... "crap the train is here" says Preeti... shouting out a bye... we raced down the stairs and hopped on the train... forget checking the displays. As the doors closed, i looked around the millennium train displaying the destinations of travel... "Macdonaldtown, Newtown, Stanmore, Petersham, Lewisham, Summer Hill, Ashfield, croydon, Burwood, Starthfield, homebush, flemington, Lidcombe, Berala..... ALL STATIONS TO BANKSTOWN!!" ... omg omg omg was the first reaction! We got on the wrong train! .. O well.. more time for make up... lolx!

Discussion thereafter jumped between music makeup and people (no names/codes mentioned)... lolx! Nothing bad i promise!! We got to Croydon and made the point that smoking was bad for u... 'To all you smokers: QUIT!' .... Well as we waved good bye to the train we were actually meant to catch ... we expanded our targets to various people smoking on platforms.. (or should i say just one...)! Surprisingly we got a wave back in response... now who said the world was full of strangers.... (remember TIP#1: in order to make friends just ask them if they can multiply matrices.... or if u can see a switch blade in their pocket turn and run!)!

Stratti was a mess of traveling up and down between the concourse and platform... now just choose a train that isn’t delayed... and ACTUALLY goes to Parz! Getting on and finding seats... we made our way safely to parz!... without money to spend we roamed the streeets and shops.... I was in search of light blue nail polish.... with no luck!

As our stomachs signaled the alarm to turn back and head home for lunch... we rushed back to the station and got on a train home!... YES we arrived in one piece and happily pampered ourselves to a home cooked meal!!! (mustn’t forget the HCG i pointed out.... it feels good to be alive!)

The return trip to drop of friend at station was somewhat more funny than before.... OHH and must admit my new addiction to the song neend by amrinder gill!! SOO GUD!!! (da begining esp.) Right about now transit officers walk down the steps.... and you see all these people rush to the ticket machine to buy tickets... lolx!

With division as the main concept of our conversations with ideas on how to efficiently share orange shirts with those blander colours.... advice is one could always... ALWAYS take the bottom half! LOLX!! if not heads and bodies are always the way to go... Eyes Vs umm the rest?? Well sharing is caring!

Aaah what more could you add to the day... laughter laughter and more laughter... without agrum!! now thats amazing!! Laughter is the best medicine and possible exercise.... well you can get a stitch right?!?!?!... gosh the over feeding is getting to me in pounds... lolx!

moving on... DAY TWELVE & A HALF

2008-04-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

Life is steadily getting better than wednesday... thursday was a late night, however recovery is but a road away... I lost my phone.. with that all evidence required to present prrof of teh existence of brown black boards.. and catchin people stealing red chalk RED HANDED!!!

Yes, Mechanical engineering letcure theater has hard seats and brown black boards.. we all know the famous lie about blackboards being green... i have officially found a brown black/green board!!! lolx!! Also i seem to have a strange obsession with red chalk... and i wasnt the one who stole any from the engineering faculty!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly!

I would also like to comment on the oppositions tutorials.... BORING! in comparison to those i attend.. we actually learn something and socialise intellectually.. instead over there it is books open with an old man out the front drawing matrices with chalk (not that i hav experienced any of this....)!!! How boring!! Plus the comfiness of our seats in lectures and tutes (except for the mechanical engineering lecture theatre!) is incomparable to that of the opposition!!

DAY THREE

2008-04-16T06:22:00.000-07:00

Just managing to finish the dreaded linear algebra assignment, a cup of ribena kept me company. Now i sit and type out this blog... Cardboard box tomorow... Oh my gosh the famous PROCRASTINATION has arrived once again (who said it was for HSC only?!).

However there is formal news.... *ahem* I did not forget the seriousness of this blog ALL my literary criticisms (*cough* blabbering!) does amount to something... (well at least to myself).

Yes back to new news, in the recent publication by University of Sydney Union (USU) - The Bull, An article reads "A War of a Different Kind" (written by Nina Funnell)... What caught my attention was the by line read ..'Nina Funnell writes about addiction, World of Warcraft Style.'

For those that dont know...(a group which hardly exists), World of Warcraft is a PC game played on a server and involves fighting and magic and all sorts of stuff.. (Like Neverwinter Nights... THE GAME THAT OWNS ALL!). However WoW (world of warcraft..) is the largest multi-user game played on an online server, with >10million players... Its an ADDICTION!!! (Yes Sahu addiction... like nicotine, drugs, chocolate, ribena.... PEPSI!).

Obviously teh game is targeted at us teenagers but surprisingly teh average player age is 28 (according to the article)... like Oh MY GOSH... these people have no lives!

The article continues to describe symptoms of not playing WoW.... "...addiction and dependence, claiming that players who quit by going 'cold turkey' frequently exhibit 'symptoms' associated with 'withdrawal' and 'depression'. Such symptoms include anxiety, craving, low self esteem, abuse of alcohol + drugs, disordered sleeping and eating! This is where i said THANK GOD i havent installed it yet!

I have heard many WoW stories myself... from a couple of my friends who are users and x-user. One story involves a bunch of boys (from Sydney BOys?) taking a day of after the trials to STAY HOME... (??) in order to play WoW... NOT go out to a net cafe or somones house... but THEIR OWN house in order to play this WoW.

Addiction to the max... either that or stupidity. hmmm... this concludes my ramblings for today! So Where's the ribena??...

DAY TWO

2008-04-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

As the day ends with lazily listning to fast paced music and looking through my email inbox.... i can feel the adrenalin pump through my veins! WARNING: NEED SLEEP... eyes are watery and the bed nice and warm!

WE spent lunch time discussing the maths assignment and OH MY GOD! Although i had a look at it on the train... who knew it would be so difficult... linear algebra aaahhh.... considering to buy the textbook in order to understand what is happening... must sleep on it! Well , as i was saying... MATHS ASSIGNMENT... Question one: DONE... Question two: Someone shoot me?

Althought 3 dimensional space is quite easy to picture as we lift an apple to our mouths.. think of 4 different planes intersecting... 3 of them forming a tirangular prism of which we must find the cross sectional area.... easy? NEVER! Well a general idea was formed... mostly by me considering my brain was working properly then (not sure about now)... WELL either we use the cross product formula (i.e. 0.5(|aXb|) ) or area of triangle (i.e. Half base times hieght)! Well we shall soon find out!

Next on the list... CARDBOARD BOX! ahh it can wait 'til tomorow...... now listening to songs still and I am addicted to EXCITED by Janet Jackson (chek it out on youtube if you havent heard it... TIP: increase volume to its MAXIMUM!)

The Twist of a Syllable

2008-04-12T02:37:00.000-07:00

He told me one last story. He used his aged ruined voice like an old man’s hand to pick the lock on his past. It was a winter night and the chilly night breeze brought my garments to life. I held up my bloodstained knife into the moonlight and wished. I wished for it to have never happened. The knife presented a crimson murderous face. Mine.

The life before me - painfully kept talking. I closed my eyes to stop my tears from spilling. A lump had formed in my throat. I wanted to scream; yet I could not. I looked at him once again as he whispered his final words:

“Not me James, not me…it was Jo….”

Phillip was gone without finishing his story. But the clues were laid; the killer was out there. The death of my father will be avenged. Slowly I knelt over his motionless body. His eyes were blank and drained of his essence. I examined him and was taken aback at the sight of his chest. My knife had fulfilled its initial purpose. Red fluid did not cease to stop flowing from his wound. I bent my head in silence and shame. My voice dropped to a hoarse whisper –

“Sorry, Phillip did not know.”

With that I stood and walked away.

-- א — א --

“James stop staring off into space and eat your breakfast. I don’t know what’s come over you lately… unless you’re still upset over your father…” Mother’s face fell as she mumbled an excuse and went upstairs.

She had not spent a single tear since dad had gone and was very jumpy at the mention of his name. This was very unsettling, but I forced this out of my mind and shovelled in my food. I needed a plan, one that will work. Phillip had given me a clue to my father’s murderer, Jo… I thought hard and long at the various possibilities.

There was uncle Jo, but he had spent an entire night at my dad’s grave. No it was not uncle. Phillip had not finished the name. It was merely the first syllable.

At this thought more suspects came to mind. There was, Joseph dad’s business partner, Joalquin who was one of dad’s friend, Dad’s old mate John and Jodare one of dad’s new friends that helped him out with the machines at work…

Ring Ring Ring Ring…The phone broke into my thoughts. I rushed to the phone and picked it up.

“Hello,” I said. A familiar gruff voice replied –

“Hello, may I speak with Joanne?” Not knowing my mother’s state of mind I replied negatively-

“She’s not available at the moment. May I know who is calling and take a message?”

“Yes. Tell her its Johnson speaking and I wanted to tell her Phillip was found dead down by the river, I was wondering if she already knew about this or not. Police are associating the two deaths as suicidal and … she has got nothing to worry about.” My heart skipped a beat and the lump had returned to my throat. I was shaking. I did not have the strength to reply. “Did you get that down boy? Just make sure the message is passed on to her. Good bye.” – beep beeeep beeep.

I put the receiver back onto its hook and sunk into the nearest chair. Murder is a vicious thing, I thought to myself, once its committed it follows you everywhere.

“Are you okay James, who was that on the phone.”

I didn’t realise that mother was on her way down the stairs. I wiped my tears away and sat up. She came into the hall wearing a pair of jeans and a green shirt. Her hair was piled onto her head in the usual birds nest style and her feet were kept warm by her slippers.

“That was Johnson mother, he wanted to tell you that Phillip was found dead down by the river,” I took a deep breath and continued, “ He was also wondering if you already knew about this or not. He also mentioned something about the police associating the two deaths as suicidal and that there is nothing to worry about.”

“Is that all?” her face was pale. I nodded my head and watched her reach out for her purse and car keys. “I’m going out for the day. Order pizza if you want and don’t wander out to much.” With that she locked the door behind her. I could hear the car tyres on the gravel outside as she drove away for the night.

Since she had gone I took out a pad and pencil and scribbled all the leads I had. I was left with a page of messy thoughts:

Suspects:

Phillip
Joseph
Joalquin
John
Jodare

I spent the next two minutes imagining who could have done this from my list. When a new name into my head – Johnson. I added this name to my list and re-contemplated my ideas.

Joseph couldn’t have been the murderer; he was out of the country. Dad was complaining about it to mom all the time about him taking a 5-month holiday to tour Europe. Dad was always confiding in mom asking for her help and advice. I wiped a single tear and refocused at the work in hand.

John was definitely out. Him and dad had been friends for a long time; he was even here as soon as he found out about dad with red eyes comforting us - although it ended up being me who had comforted him.

Jodare was much unknown and was returning to France next week. He wasn’t a probable murderer either. He didn’t know his way around town without some one’s help. My instinct told me it was either Joalquin or Johnson. My bet went more towards Johnson. There was something weird about him. His attitude had changed since my father’s death. He was more involved with my mother and always talking to her. It had to be him.

-- א — א --

It was 10 o’clock when I had left the house. I had driven over in my dad’s green sedan. The area was unfamiliar to me as I searched for Johnson’s house – 21 secant close. Pulling over I went walking down the road towards 21. The street was deserted. Good, I thought to myself.

The house was of a modern construction. A flat roof, double garage and a small garden. Modern living I thought. I walked up the paved path and rang his doorbell. It was quite a few moments before he opened the door.

“Oh, hi James. What are you doing out so late.” His voice was nervous and defensive. I ignored his comment and replied smoothly.

“Can I come in, its important?” Johnson looked apprehensive, but my aggressive look bore into him and he stepped aside. He raised his voice unusually as he spoke to the closing door.

“WHY DON’T YOU SIT IN THE LOUNGE JAMES.”

Brushing aside the obscure invitation, I walked into his lounge and turned around and faced the foyer. I had my hand on the hilt of my knife as Johnson walked in and stood dumbfounded. His eyes showed fear. I swung my knife in a dangerous manner. Johnson’s eyes widened as he backed out into his foyer. I followed.

“It was you wasn’t it you’re the one that killed my father. You caused so much pain and I’m going to make you pay.” My hands were shaking in an alarming manner. “I should have known it was you. You were always jealous of my dad’s love for mother. You wanted her so bad you wrecked all our lives. Didn’t you?” I held his collar. The knife was a millimetre from his breast when a familiar voice full of sorrow screamed.

“Mother?” My heart was pounding in my throat. “Mother what are you doing here with dad’s murderer?”

“I... I… I was escaping from my guilty conscience… you see it was me who… who killed him.”

“What... You mean... You mean… YOU killed father?” I was shocked. My knife fell onto the tiles with a clink and clank. A deadly silence followed. I slowly backed away from my mother – Joanne…

“But why mother but why? We were happy he gave you, everything you wanted?”

“No he didn’t, he gave me his troubles, his burdens, his sorrow and his pains and now even his debts.” Her voice was full of spite and loathing. By now Johnson was by her side and supporting her slender frame. I regained my posture. I did not belong here.

“I swear by my fathers grave, you are not and will not be my mother. I shall live in peace with Grandma Helen, AND I hope to NEVER see you again.” With that I left, without turning back. Only the voice of my mothers last words were burned in my mind like a scar that I will never forget through my journey of existence.

A night to remember

2008-04-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

As the clock ticks past 9:30 pm, I find myself waiting for a train at strathfield station. Now, being home by 6pm most days has led me to believe that life is confined to the indoors as soon as the sun sets. I was proven completely wrong tonight.

Platform 6 was unusually crowded with all kinds of people.... those that looked like they had just finished work... some straight from the bar... freshies yapping in hindi like there is no tomorrow.... a women cryin on the pay phone... oh and musn't forget the random kids talking about drugs, alcohol and whos party to go to or ditch!

Waiting with a baterry dead mobile phone, a bunch of fobs staring me down and a stomach growling of hunger.... ahhh some one replace this nightmare! So in the cold i waited with my dollar coin ready to use the payphone, unluckily a short indian woman was already using it. She leant on one side with her hands constantly moving, voice shaky and eyes watery... oh... slowly moving away i used another pay phone to contact amma and tell her my situation.

Finally getting of at Westmead as discussed with amma, i saw my dad waiting for me.... ahhh almost home. once i got home the kitchen was attacked and my stomach satisified.. and so i can say with full meaning HOME SWEET HOME!

so what do we learn from this? NO LATE NIGHT TRAIN RIDES... NEVER!!! sydney is not a safe place anymore...

Define Love

2008-04-07T04:45:00.000-07:00

As this eventuful and tiring monday comes to an end, I wonder what it is going through the minds of my peers and other individuals. Now to my surprise, I found out that most of them were discussing plans of tomorow in hope of either finding or correcting their love. I sat back for a while and thought... love. how interesting! So this post is about the mysterious un-understandable thing called love.

So what is love? Well I was not bothered to open a dictionary, however a quick search on wikipedia provided the definition:"The word love has many different meanings, from something that gives a little pleasure ("I loved that meal") to something one would die for. It can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love."

Well... I skipped all that and came up with my own definition: "The feeling of Love encompasses that which provides you with both happiness and satisfaction." With this meaning, we can say I love chocolate, I love pepsi, I love ribena as well as that hot looking guy in the pink(?) T-shirt! (preferably stick to the pepsi or ribena).

So, in defining love we have put a limit on that which inspires art, culture..... and babies... (no, seriously!) Now that we know what love is - shouldnt all love issues come to an end? NO! Not that simple... Love is hard to find and usually masked my infactuation. Its like finding a piece of gold after digging for hours and hours... you think its a real piece of gold but slowly slowly some pieces chip away and you realise its not real gold.. its fools gold! Exactly the same with love... fool's love.... its easy to fall for!

How do you know its love and not infactuation? .... well dont look at me! I don't have all the answers... but i will tell you now; If, IF there is any doubt deep within your heart that this girl/boy is not for you or you dont like what your in... you know its time to fix it or move on...

Anyways, Love is not my strongest department... nor is it mine at all!

The Month of APRIL

2008-04-05T22:43:00.000-07:00

So, as the month of March ends on a festive note (Thanks to all those who came to the chocolate easter picnic... hope you had fun), I realise that I have not posted in over two weeks now... (Thanks Preeti for reminding me!). So APRIL brings new news to Bits and Pieces...

As most of my friends know, I am highly dependent on my mother (AKA: Amma). So when I found out she was going to go to india for about two and a half weeks my eyes widened and I remained in a state of shock for sometime. My sister came around to pat my back- "Don't worry I'll call you every five minutes now so you dont feel lonely..." Dad started planning the weeks out "Both of you will have to wake up at four every day Sundays included! Breafast will be at six exactly after exercising... You will eat what I give you and no complaining..." Sound like boot camp to you?

Apart from the continous calling and cross examinations, I need my Amma for many things... how else does my hair plait itself in the morning? how else would my clothes get washed and dried... besides that What about food? (My Appa is only capable of starving us and feeding us rations of bread and butter!)

Two and a half weeks... 17 days... Oh dear.

For me the month of April could not get worse... until I remembered I go to uni and there are quizzes comming up... *sigh*

So this week will be spent labouriously over open textbooks and messily scribbled notes... one would hope. Chemistry and Linear Algebra Quizes one day after the other... Could you wish for a better week?

I know most of my friends (fake or unfake.... happy Preeti?) are enjoying the black and white pages of various textbooks, however if you did manage to get distracted by this post... Which is not my fault in any way... yes so in order to make this read worthwhile to YOU who could have been studying... I shall wish you *good luck* and hope you will at least pass which ever quiz your pulling your hair out for.

The Stolen Dance

2008-03-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

As the holidays begin, I rummaged through my hard drive and my old blog and found the basis of my English Extension two story. It had started of as my masterpiece, but ended like the despair of dying civilisation. Amazingly enough i still scored a 42, Interesting.

The basis of my short story started of like this:

The Stolen Dance

Of all the religious artefacts in India, the one most popular with foreign art specialists are the Chola bronze statues of the dancing Nataraja. These idols are kept in all their glory in the sacred shrines of India. However, they are mysteriously disappearing. These statues are worth over one million pounds and must be found!

[07/12/06]

How very different was my end piece.

Vengence of Despair

2008-03-22T02:39:00.000-07:00

Feelings of depression, elation and norm,

Enclave the malignant world -

I seem to be incubated in.

Like the diminishing sparks of a fire display,

My mood flares into oblivion.

From up high among the songs of birds,

To the morbid depths of the satanic underworld;

My life experiences are revealed.

One mistake made followed by another and from that to many more

Before a glimpse of success

And that too a brief memory.

As the years roll by

Milestone after milestone pass … unfulfilled.

Whatever happiness stored in my spleen

Turns into dejection and loneliness

Catalysed by my own kin.

I wait now a spectator of my own misery

Waiting for the moment I shine in my glory.

Laughing at those who

Mocked me

Scorned me

Used me.

I wait patiently…

Wishing…

Wanting…

Watching the day progress.

Suburban Evolution.

2008-03-17T02:20:00.001-07:00

After a short and spicy meal at the end of the day, I sat down on the bean bag beside my father feeling quite satisfied. Just the my mom then pointed out the "Harris Park Journo" a local newspaper for harris park she picked up on her way home. Harris Park has its own local newspaper? I was curious.

I had realised how much of harris park had changed since we had lived there... the new and excessive line of indian restauraunts and the recent influx of indian international students. It almost feels like an indian state with hindi as its main language. [Must learn hindi!]

Picking up the newspaper, i had a few laughs over the types of articles and photos. The main focus would have been on indian culturalism and education... fine dining experienceds followed by dance classes and music (vocal classes). Of course, the private tutoring for maths and science (no english available). BUT the best part was the second last page, which at first i thought was another article but soon realised its creative essence.

The article named "Internet Cafe 3", i assume was part three of a series of creative chapters to a story. Since i hadnt read before i wouldnt be able to comment overall. however, what i had read was enough to tell me to stop and laugh hysterically. A girl who arrives at sydney leaving her family behind realises the difference between Australia and India.... sound familliar to you? As the passage continues she over reacts to a "boyfriend" situation. At this point i threw my hands in the air folded the newspaper and laughed. Part 4 could only be revealed in the next issue.

Harris Park has changed dramatically... for the better or worse? Only time will tell!

Train of Thoughts

2008-03-13T02:10:00.000-07:00

In the world beauty lies within the imagination. Your imagination exists not alone but surrounded by an archive of thoughts. The imagination is limitless. Let it roam free. Love what you can see,hear,touch,smell, taste and love. Do not over look small insignificant things in your life. Everything happens for a reason. Take everything as it comes. Life is a long river with many riverlets. These branch into the river, making it whole. Likewise your family and friends make you whole, dont let them dry up. The river flows in one direction. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but remember to go with the flow. Do not give up midstream, you do not know what is around the bend. It could be a cool lake or even a rapid waterfall. Life is an exciting journey, do not be afraid but enjoy. Do not dry up your hopes in the too quickly. Learn to conserve for periods of drought. The river is life, and contains life. You are not alone there are many fish out there with the same thoughts as you, the same ideas as you, the same understanding as you. Go out of your comfort zone and see them, meet them, leaern from them, teach them, help them. Get exposed to all good qualities in life. In life, When catching fish, do not put all hope in one. However remember there are plenty more fish out there for you to meet and see.

Unwritten Rules of Uni Life

2008-03-10T22:38:00.001-07:00

Lunch this afternoon, was spent discussing what should be my next topic to post about... obviously i couldnt continue complaining about uni. During our laughter filled discussion, we tossed up quite a few issues including squashy and hot train rides home, dangerous hazards on campus (basically- don't (almost) walk into a moving forklift like my friend and I) and why Coke drunk from glass bottles still cant outdo Pepsi! However the prize of todays topic goes to an article i just read about students entering uni and the unwritten rules of uni life.

The article titled 'University poses many challenges for newcomers - but it also provides plenty of rewards.' [By: Marcia Devlin back in 2003] was found on the internet a while ago (What I was doing looking at old articles from the Age?... i dont know!).

I agree that the tranisition into uni has been an experience i cannot forget. I do remember during the holidays before uni started i decided that uni was the place to have fun since there were no rules as such... however after reading this article i am amazed and honestly curious about these unwritten rules. Is it really true that i may become emotionally distressed if i have not understood"the unfamiliar and unwritten rules of university study"?

The first example given is how us students are scared to raise questions in classes of 300 to 500 and prefer to email our queries to the lecturer. The unwritten rule here is that lecturers dont appreciate getting the same questions a dozen times, instead us students "are adults voluntarily undertaking education" and we are not expected to have every question of ours answered by the lecturer.... reading this just brings up the fact im not 18 and as a result cannot be employed in big marketing/customer service oriented firms since im not an adult. So i can see i am emotionally distressed, not by the experiences of uni, but by life being unfair! Who knows, this could be more applicable to the millions of people starting uni this year... (i am NOT mentioning anyone specific here okay? and no i dont have a goofy smile on Pretty!).

The other unwritten rule of course is "keeping up to date with reading and preparation". Sorry i thought that was logic... but for those who like to differ, you dont have to go home and read up on the days and weeks lecture... thast what cramming and a pass is for!

However there is one sentence i must give respect to - "Notably, these rules all centre on students taking responsibility for their learning."... responsibility! How many times have i heard this already? Of course, we did come to uni to learn and no one forced us (remember the HSC... no pressure at all!). So students: assignments, assessments, lab reports, punctuality, review and revision is ALL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! So if you fail, its your fault... dont say your lecturer had a weird accent.

So moving on to the second half of the article. ISOLATION.... how many of you feel isolated? I was when i started... but considering there were many familliar faces around it wasnt that daunting!

One of the main things about uni is the people you meet with one day may not be around later on in the year... the idea is to be flexible! remember there are no cannibals in uni ( at least as far as i know...). However the article does claim "friendships forged at university are often those that last well beyond the end of a degree", which reminds me of the transition workshop i attended a while ago. During the workshop, the dean of science occupied the microphone and speculated that atleast someone would get married to someone who they met on that day! Remebering the guy i met... *cringe* (lolx... to the guy i met => im joking ok!).

However i must admit the workshop was a great help ( i have friends in my chemistry lecture!). Apart from that you could always sit next to someone and say 'hi do you know how to multiply matrices?' (quoted from my linear algebra lecturer... name: unknown). If mathematical introductions arent your style... you can always try getting a known friend to mock you! If that doesnt work... attempt to wear eye-catching shirts with slogans about peace, discrimination, politics or chocolate!... okay maybe not chocolate, but this will definitely help you make friends... It worked for Peter ( a friend) so it must work for you.... [please note i am not liable for any disputes formed by following the above advice]

So in anycase you have friends and will take responsibilty for your education... no worries!

By the way, if making friends and not having a social life is what you prefer... take my friends advice - Play WOW.

THE FIRST WEEK

2008-03-08T20:26:00.000-08:00

Its a bright and beautiful Sunday signalling the end of the first week of uni. How do i feel? Tired.

Obviously i had to trudge through the experience of fast paced lectures, lecturers with german accents and buying textbooks. However if i have learnt anything in the past six days, it was... "you must take responsibility for your own education".... I am no longer a kid with pocket money to worry about. Yeah, uni is serious business.

When people ask which course are you doing in uni, my answer is the same everytime... its getting boring already! The usual response is wow, that must be full on... let me tell you it is. Now with the second week arriving within twenty four hours, the pile of textbooks seem alot more heavy. Homework is good, even better if its done. So obviously it should be done, but with no intiative for avoiding detention or getting a gold sticker... how do we keep going? The answer is simple... we do.

Most of my friends are employed working up to twenty hours a week, how do they manage work and studies - beats me! Of course, after budgeting textbooks and travel money, i wish i had a well paid job... if not for the money then to escape studies.

So my dillema now is how to stop procrastinating and get on to understanding the several chemistry concepts that were supposedly explained in the past week. Procrastination... the word i learnt during the HSC. My friends and I were so sure we would never use it again after the last exam... oops - we were wrong!

With all the work, there seems to be an exciting social life to uni as well. Actually that depends if your actually allowed to attend the social gatherings and enjoy. My parents being classified as the "education comes first for us " type.... keep these social gatherings of the priority list. So how do i spend my spare time? Well today, upon waking i enjoyed the sweetness of silence before my sister allowed her questions reach my ears. Well good morning world!

Bugging my dad to take me driving, i enjoyed the hot drive while avoiding possible arguments. As soon as the horse (the car) got back to the stable, i retreated upstairs to the mess of my bedroom. No surprise.

Hours ago, i was told to vaccuum the car instead of going for a walk.... if it had ended there i would have given someone five dollars... next came the clothes. " take these clothes i have ironed and hang them upstairs." ... "Yes Mum."

So as you can see, uni is great. The work, Social life and House chores, keep you going! Much better than procrastination. To those on the edge of high school and uni... be prepared... those like me all i can say is... it is better than the HSC.